Bathroom Embarrassments in the Dominican Republic

Oops upon a travel, I woke up in the Dominican Republic in a house where only Spanish speakers lived. Minus me.

I woke that morning expecting Spanish fluency from myself.

Rolling out of my bed proved difficult as my body seemed to have designs on a butterfly metamorphosis since my sheets tightly cocooned me under the mint green mosquito net. In the darkened room, I fumbled around for my flip flops. Sleepily, I wandered into the pink bathroom. Ignoring the bugs that hummed and hung in webs above my head, I pooped.

It was relief to be pooping. The different diet in the Dominican Republic had been playing havoc on my digestive tract. Lack of pooping or diarrhea can both be very bad, and up to this morning I had not pooped.

After carefully depositing my soiled toilet paper in the waste basket beside the toilet, I yanked up my pants and turned to flush the toilet. I wanted to proclaim to the world that I temporarily no longer feared constipation. The toilet wouldn’t flush. No, no, no, no.

Please, please…go down. I pushed the lever hoping for the satisfying flush. Nothing.

“Crap.” I whispered and then I chuckled to myself for indeed it was just that – crap.

Maybe I could just leave it? No, it was time to seek help. I washed my hands then strode out of the bathroom; embarrassment following close behind. My mami bustled around the kitchen. I approached her and eloquently began, “uh…..”

I blanked. How did you say “I plugged the toilet” in Spanish?

I had no idea. I didn’t even know the word for toilet. I was in deep doo-doo, more so than I had originally thought.

Begin the game of charades. Through a smattering of hand motions and the word “baño” repeated over and over, my Dominican mother soon became aware of the situation that I had caused.

I’d like to report that I never plugged the toilet again after that first morning. But sadly, this is not the case. After the third time of telling my mami in Spanish, “La silla del baño no me gusta. (The chair of the bathroom I don’t like)” I finally demanded to learn the Dominican Republic word for toilet and how to unplug the dumb toilet myself. The chair of the bathroom had it in for me.

It seems that one does not become fluent in Spanish just from sleeping in a Dominican bed. I’m certain that I heard my bubble burst somewhere during that entire event.

 

What About You?

 

Have you ever had a similar experience with language problems or something embarrassing?