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Searching for Sustainability

December 10, 2015 1 Comment

A sustainable life.

This has been a key concept and thought to me recently. I want to live a life that is sustainable for me (that will help me be available to my community at my best self), emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally….all the lys. As a 20-something woman, I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like.

Naturally, I want to work hard for my dreams, but I want to play hard, too. What’s the balance?

I want to eat healthfully but enjoy the sweets too. Can’t I make the cake and eat it too?

Also, I’m curious about the physical strength my body has. Do I want to see my abs?

The idea is to live the life you want, and people always say things about how your life should work for you. I mean, I’m not wild about a cookie cutter life, but it would be nice to know the rules so I can break them or reshape the cookie cutter. But there are no rules because you’re meant to make them yourself. Or at least, that’s what’s being advertised.

When I googled “sustainable living,” I found a lot of websites about being conscious consumers and supporting companies that are free trade. I think that’s great! And I want to vote with my current currency (which is something between the dollar and euro depending on the day), but I can’t afford free trade. Sure, maybe an occasional free trade chocolate bar, which is better than nothing.

No, I’m not complaining about my finances. I’m happy and thankful with my current standard of living, but what I’m saying is that this definition of sustainable living (purchasing only fair trade) is not sustainable for me. Is that bad? I hope not.

Do other people wonder about how to make their lifestyle something that they could sustain for the next decade or so? Am I expecting too much to think I could define what a “sustainable life” would look like? Because I know I’m not there yet. Maybe I have a problem with contentment and restlessness or maybe I have yet to find the day-to-day life that I relish.

Because I’ve been asking around.

Do you like your job? What do you love about your job? Do you enjoy your coworkers? Do you like your diet, your schedule, your living situation, your roommates, your shoes? Do you overall love the life that you’ve chosen to live?

The answers vary, but mostly, they say yes. And then, they’ll talk about the little frustrations that they meet throughout their days, but they always circle back to how they wouldn’t want another life. For now, they are happy right where they are. From their answers, I’ve deduced that it’s not too much to ask for a life where your answer will be, “Yes, I like my life.”

Am I there yet? I don’t think so. Why? Because I’m asking how I can make my life sustainable. It’s one of those moments where your therapist or maybe friend asks, “Where do you see your life in 5 years?”

First, you can’t believe they asked that unfair question. But then, you think, “Not here.”

When I Don’t Want to Sit with God

December 7, 2015 Leave a Comment

Do you know what it is to not want to spend time with God? Maybe just an extra 30 minutes of sleep will make a bigger difference in your day than time with God or maybe He’s screwed you over.

It’s simple really. Life gets busy. Or complicated. Or it’s all just too tiring.

And you just don’t want to or you just can’t.

So you stop.

No more morning devotions. No more reading the Bible, journaling, praying, or any of those relationship building things with God anymore. Because why. Why?

Perhaps your relationship with God is only surviving on the emergency care IV of worship music, pumping truth to your being through a beat that sing-songs through your soul veins.

But even then, God’s love chases you down, even when you aren’t looking for it. Novels you read surprise you midway with scripture when you’ve sworn off God’s word. A stranger’s kindness to another stops you. Movies that have nothing to do with God suddenly have everything to do with God.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. (Psalm 139:7-8)

In a recent movie, a woman is faced with a decision between two men. She can’t have both. She must choose one. Throughout the story, she has vacillated between the hunter and the artisan, causing feelings of whiplash for everyone (audience included). But finally, the woman allows the gentle artisan to stay in her life.

Why would she choose such a peaceful and quiet soul to be her life partner when the other was such a strong warrior with great ambition? Each man caused the woman’s certain characteristics to become more pronounced. The hunter sharpened the woman’s strategic and warrior side whereas the artisan called forth the woman’s desire for a pure heart.

And she liked the woman she became when she sat with the artisan. Somehow he drew out her best qualities and allowed her to rest in her truest self.

Who you spend time with throughout your day heightens certain characteristics in you. Spend time with people who speak nasty about others, and you will begin to do the same. Hang out with fitness experts and you’ll find yourself at the gym sweating through 50 push-ups wondering how you got there.

What aspects of your character do you want to have drawn out?

Perhaps you like the person you become when you sit with God. So maybe it’s time to sit with God again. No obligations. No expectations. Just sit with him because perhaps you remember how He brings out the best in you, highlighting the truest and best parts of you while softening the hardest and meanest edges of you.

There is no rush to be perfect, to know all the answers, or to do anything but be with God.

God,

I’m not so good at sitting with you anymore. Something’s happened to us, and it was probably me because life. But I’ve come to realize that I like me better when I’m with you.

May I come sit with you again?

December 2015 Inspirations

December 3, 2015 Leave a Comment

I’m a January type of girl, but I adore December still because this is the time of year where we vault into holiday cheer, cozy clothing, and mugs full of hot drink. But most of all, I love the time of reflection that can be offered in this time.

Because I love the beginnings that come from reflection. When faced with a complete ending, reflection often offers the open window or wide-open door to beginnings. So I love December because we can look at where we’ve come from and where we want to go next.

Best Part of December: Christmas movies.

My Favorite Christmas movie: ELF

Okay. But I have to admit the first time I saw this movie, I thought it was impossibly stupid. But then, I watched it again in the Dominican Republic with a team full of wonderful people, and suddenly, this movie became my favorite. Sometimes you just need the stupid silly. Life is far too serious.

Currently Binge-watching: Psych

For years my sister has been talking this show up, but it took me moving farrrrrrrr away from her to actually start watching the show. It helps that my flatmate owns all the seasons on DVD. You know, I’ll probably go watch an episode after this.

Favorite Food: Pumpkin Ice Cream Pie

What? You’ve never heard of it. TRAVESTY! This is my favorite holiday pie always and forever. I’ve been hoarding a can of pumpkin puree so I can create this tasty treat in a week or so for my friends here. I seriously can hardly wait.

I couldn’t find a picture that does this dessert justice so you’ll just have to imagine it or follow my instagram. I’m pretty sure this delicacy will be pictured there in the next few weeks.

Current Jam: Sorry by Justin Bieber

I think I like Justin Bieber, guys. I feel a bit odd about that because his entrance onto the music scene never interested me and then his subsequent years just made me raise my eyebrows. But his new album caught my attention. Perhaps it’s the lyrics? Yes, but also, I just love the artistry of the music videos. This kid’s done some good work.

The book in my bag: The Bronte Plot by Katherine Reay

Seriously, this author keeps on getting better and better. I just love how she marries classic literature to modern day life. It’s the most refreshing writing I’ve read in a long time that has to deal with classics like Austen and the Bronte sisters.

December is so fun to me. I love the expectation of delicious food, family, Christmas movies, cozy clothes, reading under a blanket, ice skating….there is just so much goodness at this time of year.

I don’t want to wish any second of it away.

As you look over the year from the threshold between 2015 and 2016, may you see how you’ve grown and blossomed right where you were planted—no matter if the soil was rich or rocky, how you made the best of every unmanageable situation. But most of all, I hope that you choose to live with an open heart.