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Not-so-Random Kindness

March 23, 2015 2 Comments

“You’re so nice.” People throw that phrase around so much. Nice. What is that?

The thesaurus assures me that “nice” is a synonym of “kind,” but I wonder. Nice is such a bland word that we use to describe things that are less than awesome or great or fantastic. Honestly, I’d rather be described as a curmudgeon before I’m described as nice.

At least if you say, “She is such a curmudgeon,” people will want to know why! If you say, “oh, she’s nice,” people blink and move on to the next conversation topic.

But kindness. She is kindness.

I wonder what true kindness is because I so rarely see it. The Random Acts of Kindness foundation encourages doing thoughtful and kind things for people. It’s as simple as smiling at ten strangers one day to shoveling your neighbor’s driveway.

The antonym to kindness is cruelty.

So to be kind, you mustn’t be cruel. Kindness is exhibited with action or favor. Synonyms include generous, benevolent, and compassionate.

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I don’t feel qualified to write about kindness.

What makes a person kind? Is it their random acts of kindness? Is it their ability to see people clearly and be sweet to them despite what they see? Is it action? Or is it where that action springs from deep within?

You can do kind things, but does that make you kind? We all know people who do good things just to be seen doing those good things. Maybe some of those people mean to inspire others into action as well, but the act becomes a performance. Does the good work lose its meaning when it’s a performance?

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A truly kind person does not need to be reminded to be kind. They just are. It’s a natural extension of themselves. They don’t need the Random Acts of Kindness campaign (even though it’s a great thing!) to help them be kind. They just are kind.

To the God of Intentional Kindnesses,

When my ears and eyes tire of witnessing cruelty and brutality, keep reminding me that there is still kindness in my fellow earth dwellers—that we can choose to be intentional with our kindness to one another.

Help me to choose kindness.

Kindness has been relegated to random because it is rare. Shape me into a person that spills kindness extravagantly as I tumble over the road ruts—that even as I sit in a pothole, I lift others past the broken pavement of life. Clear my vision so I can see that kindness to others is self-kindness.

Help me to not only actively show kindness, but to truly be kind.

With sincerity,

A humble and often unkind earth dweller

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How To Say Good-Bye

March 16, 2015 3 Comments

Whoever signed me up to write this post was out of their minds because I am the absolute worst at good-byes. Oh, right. I’m the main and only writer for this website right now.

I’ll put it plainly.

I’m the worst at all good-byes.

There are really two types of people when it comes to saying good-bye. You are either the type who goes through the entire room saying good-bye to every individual (The Individual Good-Byer) or you sneak out the back door, maybe only saying good-bye to the host (Good-bye Sneak). Maybe.

Or I suppose you could be that rare breed that kind of just shouts good-bye as you head out the door.

I definitely am a Good-bye Sneak. My least favorite thing is saying good-bye. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t like the attention of everybody on me or if I’m just plain lazy. Or you know, maybe I really, really hate good-byes. I also just like to slip away from the crowd before they know to miss me. It feels cleaner somehow. For me.

I know. It’s unfair to those who would like to actually say good-bye in person or need the closure.

What do you say? I’ll miss you? Have a good life? See you….another time? Chicken should have three feet? (I don’t know where that came from)

In the past few years, I’ve come to appreciate The Individual Good-byer, and I’ve tried to take cues from them. And I’ve assembled a splendid two motley thoughts to help myself say good-bye well (even if I’d rather just sneak away before dawn).

1. “See you later”

That’s probably my favorite way to say good-bye no matter how long it’s going to be before I see the person again. It’s less final than that scary good-bye that feels like it could honestly be forever.

2. A good hug

Sometimes words don’t cut it. Yeah, I’m a word person. But honestly, there are times when words don’t work.

And that’s it. I have no truly grand ideas of how to make good-byes easier, especially when they are absolutely dreadful to you. Take the time to feel those emotions, legitimize them, and then move into your new adventure. I wish I could tell you more. But if you have some brilliant ideas to share, please comment below!