Cordially Barbara

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  • Spirit of Christmas: A Holiday Anthology
  • Teal Paisley Tights
  • Take a Right at the Mistletoe: A Very Vienna Christmas

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January 2021 Inspiration

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January 2021 Inspiration is here, and I’m not really here for it this year. I love beginnings. I love mornings. I love the start of a new month, a new day, a new year. That freshness — breathes hope into my lungs.

But this year, I feel heavy, and I know why… my baby niece died four days before Christmas, and that loss has stolen my will, my breath, my heart. It’s funny how such a small human, who was only just beginning to show her personality, captured our minds, our delight, and our attention.

Some days are fine. I wake up. I do the things. And then, there are days where everything feels pointless.

It’s been weird to grapple with grief like this when I’m not RIGHT at the epicenter of the loss. I’m a step away. But, you see, I had dreams of taking that lil Julia around the world someday, gifting her my favorite books, and hopefully inspiring her to be a better human by trying to be that myself. I won’t get to do any of that with her.

So this time, January doesn’t feel like quite the celebration that it usually feels like to me. I’m doing a lot of sleeping and a lot of eating. But, for the record, I made some decent strides to one of my fitness goals on January 2nd so not all is lost. #keepgoing

What I’m Being Inspired By

Current Jam:

Isn’t it funny that a song called “happiness” can be so very sad? Taylor Swift came in strong for all of this last year, and I just love her for it. I’m proud to share the same age with her 11 months out of the year. I really love this song for so many, many reasons. If you’ve been hurt in any relationship, then you know that there was happiness in the before, present, and after. And that’s good.

Current Food:

Christmas cookies and spiked tea — that’s where it’s at, folks!

Current Read:

Danielle Banas is a Pittsburgh author that I didn’t know about. I discovered her from the wonderful Instagram, and I immediately was interested in her YA science fiction. In fact, I started out my 2021 reading with her book The Good for Nothings, and it was the best decision I could make!

Current Obsession:

The Jackson Family (Alysha, Nate, Eva, Elias, and Ingrid the pup) are longtime friends, and they just purchased a 70s house in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, where they’re going to renovate the house to keep its charms but make it livable! They started an Instagram account @thejacksonfi to document that journey, and maybe someday you’ll be able to rent the house for a weekend (after their done and when they’re not there).

P.S. That’s Fiona’s sister in the picture (Ingrid).

Current Quote:

I’m just sitting over here exploring grief…howabout you?

What’s Inspiring YOU?

The Music I Like to Write To

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The music I like to write to is not as diverse as I’d like. Why? Well, if the song is too familiar, I’ll sing with it. If it’s too different, the song will distract me from my writing. Choosing the right music for writing is crucial.

I’m a person who lives in my feelings.

Therefore, if I’m writing a sad scene, please push play on sad music. And if I’m writing a happy scene, I better have a happy song queued up because otherwise sadness will drip through the scene. My favorite music to write to is inevitably soundtracks.

My Favorite Soundtrack for Writing: Maleficent

I’m not sure what it is about this soundtrack that just ignites my imagination, but it really, really does. I’ve written portions of Teal Paisley Tights and Take a Right at the Mistletoe to it. And I’ve listened to it while editing as well.

My Second Favorite Soundtrack for Writing: Alice in Wonderland

I love the sneaky sounding music, and I love the parts of the music that feel like we’re going on an adventure. It just lights up my eyes, and makes me type faster.

My Third Favorite Soundtrack for Writing: How To Train Your Dragon

This one is like an adventure and love story all smashed up into music, and I just love to listen to it as I’m writing.

What am I listening to as I write up this post? Ella Fitzgerald. “The Lost Berlin Tapes”

And when it comes to music for feelings, I’ve got more sad songs than most. I feel like I collect them. And I don’t even know where to start.

Sad Songs:

Happy Songs:

I’m not surprised that it’s so much easier for me to find sad music than happy music. I promise you that I’m usually walking around pretty okay and fairly happy. What songs do you love for any of these categories? Tell me in the comments!

 

December 2020 Inspiration

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Oh what a year — what a maniacally ridiculous year — with so much more than any of us bargained for! How are you, friend? How’s your body? Your heart, mind, spirit, friends, community, family?

I don’t know who broke 2020’s heart, but someone did her/him wrong. Have you all seen this video?

What I’m Being Inspired By

Current Jam:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9374M96SIyk&ab_channel=JMBProductora

If you haven’t seen The Queen’s Gambit, you should add it to your “Watch List” (but also, I’m saying this after only watching 2 episodes). But the soundtrack is also exquisite, and I should probably mention that someone compared me to the main character of this show…so I may be biased.

Current Food:

I am utterly and completely obsessed with Christmas cookies (Snickerdoodles and Molasses Crinkles) and Pumpkin cinnamon rolls right now. I admit that I spent most of a Sunday recently (well, maybe it was yesterday) baking all of those things for the pure pleasure of fresh cookies and fresh smells flourishing in my apartment.

Current Read:

Do you know of Brene Brown? Well, she’s been doing a podcast called “Unlocking Us,” and I’m obsessed. She interviews different book authors, and my to-read list has expanded based on these interviews. I had to purchase this book after listening to this episode of “Unlocking Us” with Gabby Rivera. 

Current Obsession:

Over ten years ago, I took art classes from my wonderful Grandmother Betty, and I was a little heathen to her (hi, my middle name is Stubborn). But along the way, she taught me a few techniques for Acrylic and Watercolor paint. In October, I bought myself small canvases, and a tiny collection of paint…and I started painting. It’s been a joy to rediscover my delight in creating beauty through paint. And most recently, I spent a collection of weeks working on this canvas for a friend. I absolutely love it.

So, surprise, Teal Paisley Tights is about an artist, but I guess I have a little bit of that skillset too?

Current Quote:

I remember sobbing eyes out once, and I felt that the world had gone dark. A friend said to me then, “I don’t know when it will be better, but I’ll sit in the dark with you.” And that still makes me tear up. The world is so hard, and it requires SO much from us. And some days, it’ll go dark. Those are the days that you find the friends who have also walked through darkness because they’re not afraid of sitting in the dark with you. They won’t rush you through it.

They’ll sit right there, loving you as you are with snot on your face and tears clumped in your eyelashes.

 

So, my friends, as we sit in the dark of 2020, waiting for the dawn of 2021 — not quite sure if the new year will actually be promising or not, know that you are absolutely not alone.

What’s Inspiring YOU?