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People Say Really Stupid Things

January 16, 2017 Leave a Comment

Okay, let’s have a contest. What’s the stupidest thing someone has EVER said to you (sure, sure, it was well-meaning)?

We’ve all been there, trekking through a really hard time when maybe it feels like you can’t get one foot in front of the other. Or maybe you’re finally having a good day, and someone says something stupid. Like, really REALLY realllly stupid.

Perhaps they said it to encourage you or to give you perspective or whatever. This isn’t really a place for pity or bashing. But, I want to open a space for talking about when people say things that hurt.

Context helps, though.

On Making Any “Wild” Decisions Ever

“You’re not going to be so young with tight skin forever.”

“When are you going to do real life?”

“You’ll drop out of school, get pregnant, and start doing drugs.”

“Oh…that’s…cool.”

“Honey, everything sags. You might want to rethink that.”

On Being Single

“You’re single? But you’re so pretty!”

“Well, if you’d just lose weight, a guy might notice you.”

“Lower your standards.”

“Maybe you should filter yourself a bit more…you know, be nicer.”

“He’ll come when you least expect it.”

“Are you, you know, LGBT?” Offensive on SO many levels. [update 1/16/2017: assuming anything about anyone’s sexuality (based on relationship status or lack thereof) is inappropriate.]

On Breaking Up

“He/she just wasn’t the one for you.”

“S/he wasn’t good enough for you.”

“You’ll get over her/him.”

“He/she was stupid for breaking up with you.”

“She/he wasn’t worthy of you.”

****Don’t say any of these unless you hear the person experiencing the break up say it. They’re such easy words that slip out, and yet, they are SO unhelpful.

On Being Pretty

“But you’re pretty. You can’t be sad.”

“You just have good DNA.”

“Well, aren’t you pleased that someone’s noticing, even if it’s a catcall? You should be honored.”

“No one looks at me when you’re around.”

Obviously, there are a lot of things wrong with these statements. I think the biggest bad of these quotes are the assumptions that people are making about you when they say them.

People say really stupid things.

If you’ve got a particularly good/bad something that someone has ever said to you, I’d love for you to share!

Book Recommendation: Conspiracy of Silence (The Tox Files) by Ronie Kendig

January 9, 2017 1 Comment

[I received a free copy of this book from Bethany House Publishers for a review. This review is my own opinion. Affiliate links used.]

Conspiracy of Silence by Ronie Kendig is a book outside of my preferred genres, but I love reading outside those genres. No matter what type of book you gravitate to, you can ALWAYS recognize excellent storytelling. Truly, I believe this.

Book Recommendation:

Conspiracy of Silence by Ronie Kendig

Where do I even begin with this book? The weaving of Biblical history, medieval history, and present day blew my mind, especially how all those separate pieces truly drove the story! Although the characters absolutely had issues of their own to work on, the problems they faced were SO much bigger.

This story is not relationship driven (although I have a soft spot for those stories). Explosions and shiny, terrifying arrows are killing people. Events are happening so quickly that you can hardly catch your breath.

Although I had to put the book down to do the necessary things (like be nice to people), I didn’t want to.

About Conspiracy of Silence in Barbara’s Words

Cole Russell (Tox) kind of, sort of, not really died three years ago, only to be resurrected by a kidnapping ruse to draw him out of hiding.

Kasey Cortez still needs to prove herself as an FBI deception detector. And Tox’s return to undercover work is the perfect opportunity because no one knows if he truly can be trusted.

Tox has been summoned to take care of a problem that no one else has the skills for. When he and his team poke the beast, the already big problem unravels into a much bigger problem. Will his skills be enough to save the world and himself?

Conspiracy of Silence Struggles

So here’s a thing. I didn’t realize that Ronie Kendig is a girl until about halfway through the book when for a slight moment, the focus shifted from explosions to a flash of romance. And the romance was so good, I had to stop and check if the author was female or male. Yes, I know men can write good romance.

I list this in the struggle section because I wasn’t sure how I felt about romance in this story. Did it move the plot forward? Did it inspire character growth? What was the general purpose?

But really, in the vast measure of this book and others, it’s a VERY tiny struggle. 😉

Book Recommendation: Conspiracy of Silence (The Tox Files) by Ronie Kendig — FAVORITE LINE: “Regret was Tox’s first, middle, and last name.”

Conspiracy of Silence LOVE

Shoo. Not sure where to begin!

LOVED the history with Biblical and medieval.

LOVED the combinations of different character perspectives

LOVED the characters. Each seemed strong and unique and developed.

LOVED the action and the plot.

I loved it all so much that it’s already been shared with my dad to read (he was looking for something great to read, and I was like, “Here it is.” and handed him Conspiracy of Silence).

Keep Up With My Reviews!

On Instagram, GoodReads, and Amazon, I share quick reviews of the books that I read. My thing is to compare books to food. Here’s what I wrote for Conspiracy of Silence by Ronie Kendig.

On a scale of cotton candy to Brussels sprouts, Conspiracy of Silence by Ronie Kendig was a baked Alaska. The flames burst forth and what you find is a cold shock.

Tox (Cole Russell) is dead. Well, not really, but everyone who ever knew him thought so because he made a deal: his life for the lives of his team. But that’s old history until the government lures him into an undercover operation because they need someone expendable who doesn’t exist.

Phew, the book…riveting. That’s the only way I can really describe it. With a mix of Biblical history, medieval history, and modern day, I couldn’t get enough. Oh, and yes, between all the fights, assassins, and unanswered questions, love seeps in.

If you’re looking for a fast-paced, action packed story, this one just might be for you!

January 2017 Inspiration

January 2, 2017 Leave a Comment

Happy 2nd Day of January! Sometimes I think this is the hardest day of the year because it’s the first day back to everything…without a holiday in sight for months. The snow is no longer cheery (if it ever was) and the Christmas decorations come down (either by design or they fall).

Personally, I love January. It breathes new beginnings. New opportunities. Fresh starts.

What I’m Being Inspired By

Current Jam:

Yes, yes, I know. Alice in Wonderland came out AGES ago. But I can’t get over the music. Something about the music invites me to adventure and explore. Whimsy is probable.

Current Food:

When I was little, my grandmother gave each of her children and grandchildren a portion of Nuts & Bolts (trailmix) in a used-but-cleaned-out peanut butter jar. Age has caught up with her, but this year, I made the Nuts & Bolts. So this delicious tradition can continue on.

Current Read:

January 2017 Inspiration — Follow @CordiallyBarbara on Instagram

Oh, my goodness. I’ve been reading everything and anything recently. I’ll go from a romance to science fiction to classic literature. BUT, I will tell you that Rising Strong by Brene Brown should be your current read.

Current Obsession:

I’ve had way too much fun in the last month creating fun makeup looks, but in the mean time, I’ve also been strength and flexibility training. Why? Because I want to be head over heels in love with aerials (at this point I can’t get myself upside down very easily).

Current Quote:

In my most recent aerial silk class, I struggled to execute a particular move. My brain and body were just not connecting.

“Would you like an assist?” My instructor asked, stepping over to me.

I paused my glare at the aerial silks wrapped around my wrists. Did I need help? Did I want her help? “No, I think I need to struggle a bit more. Sometimes you need to struggle before you can get it.”

“I’m so glad you say that. I have so many students who don’t feel that way.”

A few more struggled attempts later, I executed the move. So that’s not always going to happen so quickly, but sometimes we really do need to try hard to do hard things by ourselves.

Happy New Year!

As we tiptoe or storm into 2017 (whatever your pace may be), may you discover more about who you are and delight in the life you have. May every hard time be wreathed in finger-tingling joy, and every sad season accompanied by cozy comforts.