It’s Christmas eve, but I promise it doesn’t feel like it to me. Over the last few weeks, I’ve watched the Advent candles be lit. The candle of hope. The candle of peace. The candle of love. The candle of joy. And now, tonight, the Christ candle.
The center point of the season, where Biblical legend meets modern reality. A time to celebrate and remember that God’s son came to earth for us.
[Pause. Go to Noisetrade here, and listen to “We Have Waited” by Von Strantz while you read. Okay, go!]
I’ve been waiting to feel that quiet sacredness in my heart center. That quiet contentment and breath of hope. Perhaps I’m not being still enough, but at the same time, something’s missing.
Because Christmas also means family. Togetherness. Maybe it’s a holiday spent avoiding annoying cousins or aunts who are just itching to fatten you up on sweets while plying you with husband or wife suggestions. Or maybe it’s a time that you look forward to all year long, knowing that finally your heart will sigh because it’s come home. Home to the weirdos, crazies, sillies, that just plain get you.
Oh, yes. I love living in Austria. I love the people, the weird shopping hours (that I complain about), the train schedules, the exercise of living (walking everywhere), the adventure of a foreign culture (everything becomes new in a sense). I love seeing Stephansdom lit up at night and wandering down Mariahilferstrasse under the street lights and twinkle lights.
Pure magic.
So I’ll enjoy this magic, but I’ll miss the familiarity of my family’s quirks, salt-less feasts (one of us has dietary restrictions, excluding salt), and my mom’s pies. Traveling and living in another country teaches you many things but one of the top gifts of learning is how precious family truly is.
But this Christmas eve and Christmas day, I’ll be up to introvert shenanigans (check back tomorrow for a special edition blogpost).
And in all these things, I’m still drawn to that Christ candle in the Advent wreath, knowing that it doesn’t matter where I am in the world, to celebrate Emmanuel’s arrival to earth. Regardless of whether or not I feel a stillness in my heart center or not, I will celebrate.
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