Long distance relationships (the romantical type) get a lot of traffic. For good reason! LDRs take a lot of work, with some succeeding and others just splatting. But I’m not here to talk about those. Actually, I’d rather talk about friendship and the art of caring for friends that are far from you.
For six months now, I’ve been long distance by oceans and time zones with everyone that I’ve ever cared for. But being far from loved ones is not really that unusual, especially after leaving your hometown for college or a job. Time zones and oceans just make things extra difficult.
Some of my friends are great at long distance. Others aren’t.
If you’re the friend far from home, then let me give you a small hint to make things easier on you: Accept your friend where they’re at and trust their love for you.
They might not be writing. They might not be video chatting. They may not be sending you selfies. They may be on Facebook all the time, but they aren’t messaging you.
They don’t hate you. Life. It’s just life.
I get it, though. Leaving your community (friends, family, coworkers, etc.) to move to a new opportunity means that suddenly you may have to start a new community from scratch. Building friendships take time. And your friends from home still have their entire community minus you. If you feel forgotten, well, that’s a legitimate feeling. And it’s okay. But let me tell you something: those friends probably still love you as much as they did before.
Reaching out to people doesn’t have to be hard. And I’m not perfect at it, but I’m trying.
Here’s my fun little hacks of loving my friends from afar.
- Send a Fun Email
It’s simple. Think Buzzfeed. And then, go find a bunch of images along the category you choose, paste those images into the body of the email with text if you’d like, and then press send. It’s your friend’s own personal Buzzfeed list made by you. It’s fun for everyone!
- Pinterest pins
I’m an addict if you haven’t noticed, and nothing delights me more than to just press “send” on Pinterest and fling a fun or funny image to a fellow pinner who is also one of my dear friends. It’s a small image-gift.
This app is meant to be coupled with Instagram photos; however, I don’t always use it just with Instagram photos. I use other photos to mail my friends funny pictures of me for their fridges, work desks, or maybe just for the paper shredder. I did hear from one friend that they almost tossed it, though, because it looks like an advertisement so consider warning your friend before you mail!
- Handwritten Letter
This requires a bit of effort and time. But I think the investment is always well worth it. I always include doodles, occasionally stickers, and sometimes a snarky story or two.
- Video messages
Find good lighting and instead of writing all your thoughts out, just speak to the camera. Just don’t talk too long because emails have limited sending space. But this is a great way to amuse yourself and your friends.
- Google Hangouts/ WhatsApp
Sending pictures and quick messages just got so much easier especially across oceans. It’s like texting but I’m going to say…better than texting! You can use these apps as calling devices, too.
- Skype dates
Go old fashioned with a skype date. One of my friends and I were able to set up a movie, and we watched it together. It felt like old times and I so loved it. As long as your wifi is strong, this is one of my favorite things.
- Music, Quiz, Links
Share all the things. Share music, quizzes, links. Being so far from one another, well, you really can’t know what’s happening in their life unless they make a point to tell you. And same for you. You have to share it. Be liberal in the sharing of life.
Life is all about sharing. So tailor this list to you and your friends. How can you share life with someone even if you’re an ocean away? How can you show them you care when you’ve got 6+ time zones between you?
Extra Hack: write down important dates of your friends’ lives – first days of work, vacations, big presentations, etc. You can reach out to them on those days, but it will also make you feel connected to their lives and adventures.