I like to be loved. I think most people could agree with that statement; honestly, who doesn’t like to be loved! But have you ever just felt that someone didn’t know how to love you? Like they were speaking a totally different language?!
All through my teenage years, my mom tried so hard to love the very ornery and unlovable me. She stocked the freezer with my favorite ice cream flavors and made my life easier in a million different ways. Yet, it never felt like love to me.
Meanwhile, I would write my mom these beautiful letters, and she’d tell you that she loved them. But, when she wanted a hug, I always turned away. And I always grumped about helping her around the house.
Love mis-communicated.
My mom and I like to be loved in two very different ways. Because we want love in a certain way, we’re so much more likely to speak our own love language rather than each other’s.
My mother feels loved when I hug her and when I serve her.
I feel loved when my mother compliments me or encourages me with words.
Just like cultures clash so can love languages clash in families, friendships, and romantic relationships. If you haven’t heard of The 5 Love Languages, you probably should do a quick Google search or just skip it and buy the book. Not only will knowing the love languages help you understand others, but it will help you understand yourself.
The Five Love Languages:
Words of Affirmation – this language uses words encourage others
Acts of Service – actions speak louder than words
Receiving Gifts – gifts are the best for some
Quality Time – undivided attention on the other person
Physical Touch – appropriate touch given to someone
Most people will relate with a few of these or all of them. I know that each has a certain weight in my life, but I also know which one really means the most to me—going straight to the center of me! If you’re looking at this list and have no idea which one is you, don’t worry. There is a quiz for that (actually quite a few). So take a few minutes to take this quiz (and there’s an option to skip giving the site your information if you don’t want to do that).
Hopefully, now that you’ve had this brief introduction to the five love languages, you’ll find yourself with less love clashes in your life.
What About You?
What’s your love language? Did you ever have a moment where you were speaking a different love language than someone else?
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