Sharing living space with anyone is an adventure. I only shared space with my family until I graduated from high school, and my only roommate up to that point had been my younger sister. In those days, hand-to-hand combat was an acceptable form (not in my parents’ eyes) of figuring out our differences.
But then, enter the college years.
In four years of college, I had a total of 8 different roommates at different times and time lengths. Each roommate served as a type of distorted mirror, presenting me with my faults and my gifts.
Living with people is not easy. But then again, I always loved opening my door to find a human being there. Someone to live life beside even in those tension-filled pauses and tip-toeing over eggshell moments.
Here are a few things that I learned about myself and others in roommate situations.
- You can’t fix your roommate. There will be things that you don’t like about your roommate, bad habits, and these glaring problems in your eyes. But, if they don’t want to change, you can’t change them. All you can do is change yourself or your reaction to these things (or move out).
- Communicate! This comes up all the time because it is the truest thing. Tell your roommate kindly if their sloppy space is cramping your home comfort. Being blunt will generally help you both to have a better living arrangement. Passive aggressive behavior only frustrates both parties.
- Your Food. My Food. Our Food? I come from a background where food was shared all around, but I’ve had roommates who labeled their food in the refrigerator. This always surprised me. Why have two of the same something with the only difference being the name scrawled in sharpie? I learned quickly to talk about food expectations, especially if there was a kitchen involved in the rooming situation.
- Pet Peeves and Roomie Dates! If you’re self-aware enough to know your pet peeves, then great. Share them with your roommates. But sometimes you’ll be in discovery mode. Plan time to hang out with your roommate for fun and for re-evaluation: what are you doing well as roommates and what aren’t you doing well?
- Sleeping patterns and showering routines. Just another thing to communicate on so everyone happily gets clean and well-slept.
Living with people who you didn’t grow up with means a merging of different living cultures, and inevitably there will be clashes as your differences come up. You’ll find yourself saying things like,
“Doesn’t everyone do this?”
“In MY house, we always…”
“You’re so weird.”
But embrace the new chance to learn from people other ways of living life! Now’s the time to experiment and decide how you want to live, not just how things have always been done.
What About You?
Have you stuck to the way your parents did things or have you deviated from their habits?
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