Why Small Talk Is Important

I’m not good at small talk. In fact, I think small talk is a huge hassle and a waste of time. And this reasoning solidifies that I’ve never been particularly good at small talk.

I want to get to the nitty gritty. I want to know what makes you tick. Good or bad! I want to know why you think breaking up with God is a good idea.

And this is my struggle with human interaction. This is my struggle when I travel anywhere because it’s not always polite to delve deep, but I want to know why languages are the same but different. More often than not, it’s not appropriate. Sigh. 

That’s why small talk is important.

 

Four Kind Of Sort Of Reasons Small Talk Is Important

1. Small talk starts with a small smile.

How many times have you started talking to someone that scowled at you? Really? Be honest. Like never. If not a smile, then at least eye contact? It’s the first step, even before the actual talk begins.

The first connection. And it’s small.

2. Small talk, the actual talking, happens from a shared experience.

When I want to start a conversation with someone, I compliment their hair, the scarf, or some item on them. Or, I try to make a witty comment about the long line for the coffee machine. What is around you and other person that you both are experiencing?

3. Small talk is respectful of personal boundaries.

Small talk has a terrible reputation of being shallow. But you know, small talk respects the personal bubble…the emotional one. It’s the shallow water at the pool where you can wade into the deep. But sometimes it’s better to wade in than to leap into the deep end.

I mean, what if the deep end has the Loch Ness Monster? Some of you might be into that…but others might not be. Don’t disturb the monster unless you mean to be its mermaid friend.

It’s MEAN, to jump in and then run away. To Nessie, of course.

4. Small talk is the gateway drug to the hard stuff.

Funny enough, small talk is the perfect place to begin to find common interests. Weather geek? Coffee lover? Tea drinker?

You get the idea.

So, to me and others like me, quit hating on small talk. It’s the beginning of most good friendships. I mean, I doubt that C.S. Lewis met J.R.R. Tolkien and was like, “Tell me about Gollum.”

I mean, who starts with Gollum?

That’s not a good place to start. Let’s start in The Shire.