Do you ever feel like life is way more uncertain than you would like? Do you ever find yourself making a list simply because it makes something feel concrete in your life? Or maybe just taking slow deep breaths to steady a heartbeat that won’t stop skittering too fast because you don’t know what life will look like tomorrow or a month from tomorrow?
2014 has been the most unexpected year.
By nature, I’m a planner. I like things to be settled, organized, and certain. I can do spontaneity, but I like it within the time that I set aside for it. Yes, planned spontaneity. Is that an oxymoron? Please don’t tell me because I like my safe spontaneity.
Whatever my expectations were at the beginning of the year, they were completely blown out of the water. I think I’ll keep expectations shelved as I head into 2015.
To the All-Knowing God for Whom There is No Uncertainty,
I lay the mess of fears for the future and present into your hands because you keep showing up in my life with deep breaths and long sighs. I can rely on you.
Will you look into the future for me, climbing above the wall that blocks my view of the road ahead and shouting down from the height some directions for how best to move forward? My muscles are sore from the days past and shaking with every step. I look to you, waiting for your words of guidance and reassuring shout.
May gratitude be my companion as I step-by-step follow your wall-shouts from above.
Learning to accept uncertainty,
Barbara
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