Do you know what it is to not want to spend time with God? Maybe just an extra 30 minutes of sleep will make a bigger difference in your day than time with God or maybe He’s screwed you over.
It’s simple really. Life gets busy. Or complicated. Or it’s all just too tiring.
And you just don’t want to or you just can’t.
So you stop.
No more morning devotions. No more reading the Bible, journaling, praying, or any of those relationship building things with God anymore. Because why. Why?
Perhaps your relationship with God is only surviving on the emergency care IV of worship music, pumping truth to your being through a beat that sing-songs through your soul veins.
But even then, God’s love chases you down, even when you aren’t looking for it. Novels you read surprise you midway with scripture when you’ve sworn off God’s word. A stranger’s kindness to another stops you. Movies that have nothing to do with God suddenly have everything to do with God.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. (Psalm 139:7-8)
In a recent movie, a woman is faced with a decision between two men. She can’t have both. She must choose one. Throughout the story, she has vacillated between the hunter and the artisan, causing feelings of whiplash for everyone (audience included). But finally, the woman allows the gentle artisan to stay in her life.
Why would she choose such a peaceful and quiet soul to be her life partner when the other was such a strong warrior with great ambition? Each man caused the woman’s certain characteristics to become more pronounced. The hunter sharpened the woman’s strategic and warrior side whereas the artisan called forth the woman’s desire for a pure heart.
And she liked the woman she became when she sat with the artisan. Somehow he drew out her best qualities and allowed her to rest in her truest self.
Who you spend time with throughout your day heightens certain characteristics in you. Spend time with people who speak nasty about others, and you will begin to do the same. Hang out with fitness experts and you’ll find yourself at the gym sweating through 50 push-ups wondering how you got there.
What aspects of your character do you want to have drawn out?
Perhaps you like the person you become when you sit with God. So maybe it’s time to sit with God again. No obligations. No expectations. Just sit with him because perhaps you remember how He brings out the best in you, highlighting the truest and best parts of you while softening the hardest and meanest edges of you.
There is no rush to be perfect, to know all the answers, or to do anything but be with God.
God,
I’m not so good at sitting with you anymore. Something’s happened to us, and it was probably me because life. But I’ve come to realize that I like me better when I’m with you.
May I come sit with you again?
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